I'm happily married. But if I wasn't and I wanted to spice up my life with a bout of infidelity, there are several dating websites designed with that in mind.
One of the best-known cheating sites is Ashley Madison. Curious about what it's like to use such a site, I went undercover (so to speak) for a month on Ashley Madison to take a look inside.
Because I was posing, I was as respectful as possible. I didn't respond to emails or look at everyone's private photos. Obviously, I didn't actually date anyone either.
That said, I was pleasantly surprised by how easy the site was to use. Given its emphasis on sex, I was also surprised by how respectful and NOT pornographic everyone was.
That said, need to warn you: the following slides do contain some racy and sexual content.
The first step is to tell the site what kind of an affair I was after. I said I was an attached female seeking males.
I described myself and my limits, mostly from pull down lists. My options were: something short term, long term, cyber only, "erotic," anything goes. I chose 'whatever excites me.' I also described what I look like and said I was 36.
I got an option of uploading a profile photo. Many people were using sexy photos for their profiles. It let me blur the face, or just block it like this. I could upload more photos to share with people I met on the site, too.
It also asked me to write something quick about what I was after. Since I was posing as a married woman looking for an affair, this is what I wrote:
This is where Ashley Madison is different from other dating sites. It asked me to provide a pretty detailed list of my sexual tastes.
Then it asked me to describe my ideal partner ...
In the end, I opted not to use a profile photo. I tried to sound average, normal, not kinky or weird. This was my final profile. Below, notice that if you date someone from the site, that person can later provide feedback about you.
My profile must have looked pretty good. Within minutes men were contacting me!
Most of the emails I received were polite requests to meet like this one ...
This was the funniest email I got. By the way, in most of the photos I saw, the men were clothed. Sometimes they were shirtless. I saw no junk at all even on the rare occasion I looked at private pictures.
In one month's time, I had about 50 men contact me. Some sent me more than one note. Notice that if they gave me the key to look at their private photos, they could also "revoke access" to the photos. After that, I would have to contact them and ask to see the photos..
One thing: Ashley Madison sent me a lot of emails. If I was really cheating, this is something I'd want to turn off.
One other feature was the "Traveling Woman" or "Traveling Man" option. This lets you try and find hook-ups on the road.
The biggest surprise was that this felt like an an ordinary dating site, with interested men sending polite "let's chat" messages.